Gather ‘round for story time with Uncle Chris

Participating in 24 Hours of LeMons, requires a lot of diligence, primarily, following a ton of rules and actually adhering to the $500 rule (safety equipment doesn't count). Below is our story on the 1991 Saab 9000 we will be running in LeMons.

Official: we ain't bullshitting, proof documentation

Unlike the other Nancies, who somehow managed to run Ford Mustang Cobras or late model Impalas, we opted to actually follow the rules.

Unfortunately, being the "good guys" was a difficult f'ing task. Cheating would have been much more fruitful.

So here's the back story. We picked up this 1991 Saab 9000 as a group of friends, last last year; our intention was to turn it into a track rat and rallyx car. Then we got bored. Some of us got married. Others of us had engagements canceled. In other words, shit happened. Keep going, more after the jump.

Then we decided, against better judgment, to participate in LeMons. Good thing our $300 non-running 9000 with no doors (safari option package), which was sold as "parts," was up to the task.

What we sold:

seats: $300

headlights: $100 total

tail lights: $40 total

Wheels and tires: $200/ea

What we bought:

Spark plugs

Doors: $75 bucks from local Saab junkyard (by local I mean we had to drive three hours)

Valve cover and misc gaskets: $80

Safety equipment: brake rotors, pads, used wheels/tires, etc, seat (borrowed), harnesses, a shit load of steel

Evian water for the cooling system

Paint, about $37 worth

The good news is we were able to generally screw around with the engine and actually get it fired up. We even painted it in hopes to score some play from the track bunnies that will be checking the car out in the pits. And by "we" were able to get the car running, I mean, our one mechanically inclined friend and teammate was able to start it while the rest of us stood around with our hands in our pockets.