It’s only okay if you’re alone in your car.

We are all special and unique people. That being said, I believe there are inherent qualities that are in all of us. We never notice these similarities, because these qualities only show themselves in private. Generally in one’s car.

After much thought and a smidge of observation, I’ve compiled a list of things that many drivers do in their cars, regardless of age, sex, race, etc etc.

First - eat. People are incredibly protective of their cars. Of the cleanliness of their leather interiors or perfect sparkle of their windows. You may forbid any passengers from eating in your car to preserve its perfection, but everyone gets hungry. Everyone gets that irresistible pull at the scent of White Castle. And I’m sure, at one point, everyone has pulled over to indulge. And then told no one in order to maintain the pure, untouched image of the car. But next time you sit in your friend’s fancy car with the “no dirt, no food, no sneezing” rules, take a deep breath. 99% of the time there’s a very faint hint of onion.

Second – add sound effects. What does that mean? Well, let me give you an example. On the very rare occasion I hit the Interstate when it’s completely empty, I like to accelerate quickly and easily. (And safely.) My engine just doesn’t make enough noise to match the exhilaration I feel at this acceleration. So I add a little “vroooom, rrrrr, zzhh vroom” myself. It’s quite satisfying. Now, for a long period of time I thought this was just me. But I then learned that some drivers make “pew pew pew” laser noises when daring through traffic. These are only two specific examples, but I can say with fair certainty that this is not an uncommon occurrence. So I’m going to go ahead and make an unintelligent blanket statement and say most drivers “vroooom”, “wrrrrrr” and “pew pew pew” their way across the country.

Third – sing. More specifically – sing music that they vehemently trash in the “outside of the car” world. This music includes (but is not limited to): Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus, and Journey. Cars are little private bubbles. It’s your own space. And your car can’t judge you. So everyone lets it out. No, everyone belts it out. It’s enjoyable, it’s fun, and no one will ever know. (Assuming your windows are closed.) Ask me if I can sing Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” completely by heart. Go ahead, ask.

Image Credit: Bright Lights Film