Your bumper stickers and you: the less than definitive guide
Visualize, if you will, an old red pick-up truck. Late ‘80s, early ‘90s. Very square. Very red. A little dinged up on the edges. Perhaps a bit rusty. You know which one I’m talking about. Usually to the left of you on the highway. Now visualize, if you will, the bumper stickers that are inevitably on the tail of this vehicle. Depending on the license plate, the highway, and the speed of the vehicle inevitably it will have one of the following bumper stickers: a patriotic bumper sticker. A Bush ’04 bumper sticker. An armed forces bumper sticker. Driving a big red pick up truck with a bald eagle emblazoned on the back says one thing – I am hardcore. It also says – if you follow too closely behind me I will shoot you.
What I’m less than subtly saying here is that while the cars we drive often stereotype us, the bumper stickers we put on our cars stereotype us doubly so. I’m in college. I have the name of my school on the rear window of my car. So do all 500 other cars in the parking lot. We can’t help it! We’re young. We conform. We also tend to not be able to have ability to park with any sort of prowess. But that has nothing to do with our bumper stickers. Just with my difficulties in parking before class this morning. Moving on!
How about that Prius? Your Obama sticker is really perfectly centered. I like that “Stop the War” bumper sticker, too! Although, you don’t really need to put bumper stickers on your Prius to prove yourself as anything other than an idealistic tree hugger with hopes for a brighter future.
Let’s pick another car. I’m seeing a 1990 Ford Taurus. It has five different college stickers on the back. You can mix it up a little bit. But it has to be a big outdated sedan. With college stickers on it. Who is driving this car? Hint: It’s either you or your grandpa. Usually it’s your grandpa. Then, if your grandpa was smart and took good care of his car, it’s you. This car tells the world that you are a proud grandparent. Or a high school student with a grandparent proud of your siblings and cousins in college. And you, of course.
Now, sports cars. Sports cars are another issue entirely. Under no circumstances are bumper stickers acceptable on sports cars. I have never seen one. I doubt I will. (Side note: Vanity plates are to sports cars what bumper stickers are to everything else.) The only point at which a bumper sticker is acceptable on a sports car is a subtle addition to a Camaro – an Autobots symbol.
Badass.
Image Credit: Scott Writes Everything
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on Wednesday 1/20, 2010
John G.
Thursday 1/21, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Goodness, I hope that minivan in the article is real.
You’re pretty spot-on with this post. I will agree the autobots sticker is very cool.
I upped the ante and got some of those chrome letters that look like they are put on from the factory. I took my beater ‘94 Saturn SL and transformed it into a ‘94 Saturn $ANCHEZ. People ask me about it all the time. I just tell them it’s almost as cool as the large gothic font people put on the front windshield. I sometimes say it came from the factory like that.
I’ll have to find a picture of it.
I also find myself tempted to put a big subaru decal on the back window of my Saturn. Letting everyone know I would rather be in the subie, and making fun of these giant chevy and ford emblems on the same car of that make. I know it’s a ford, it says so on the badge!
If I can find a cheap stick-on thunderbird for the hood of my twice-aforementioned saturn, I’m going to do it.
I really just like calling attention to how ridiculous stickers have gotten with examples in hyperbole. The more people that see it, the better. I’m all about raising awareness of this epidemic.
Sarah author
Saturday 1/23, 2010 at 7:41 pm
After I wrote this article, my friend informed me I missed a whole section of overkill. The beat up Jeeps that have Phish and Life is Good stickers on them. Complete subgenre of hippie.
ivenxoyz
Thursday 1/28, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Hi I saw your blog. You have done a good job, I really liked your blog and very informative. I believe that many visitors will find it very useful to you
John G
Thursday 1/28, 2010 at 4:37 pm
$10 says the post above is not a human. If so, I would challenge ivenxoyz to post a coherent sentence.
John G
Thursday 1/28, 2010 at 4:42 pm
My bad, he’s human: trikmotor dot info
Looking for linkbacks or something? His whole blog is about SEO and making money off a template blog.
Andrew
Tuesday 4/13, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Interesting post and I really like your take on the issue. I now have a clear idea on what this matter is all about web site traffic. Thank you so much.
Ash Burton
Saturday 7/10, 2010 at 8:41 am
Autobot stickers are not cool, they are sad. Why? As graphics go - ho hum - and what is that extra frisson? A mainstrean holywood movie tie in. Soooooo hip!
Facebook Layouts
Saturday 7/17, 2010 at 5:01 am
Larger MPVs usually feature three seat rows, with two or three seats each: 2-3-2, 2-2-3 or 2-3-3 are the most common seating configurations. Smaller minivans tend to have two seat rows, with a traditional 2-3 configuration.Facebook Layouts
Armand Jones
Tuesday 8/10, 2010 at 1:57 am
Having car stickers in your vehicle seems to be great. But sometimes, it tends to be very much overkill if you put it in the bumper, in the side window or even inside the car itself. I hope that when the time comes when you wanted to remove the stickers, be prepared to really see the real deal of your expenses. You might change up your interiors or exterior parts. You might try to check out some good parts from Car Parts Los Angeles or other shops if ever you decide to change up your car parts due to those stickers that you may put on.
PubMom
Thursday 1/21, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Too funny! The other thing I see the cars of diehard holiday enthusiasts are antlers extending from the roof and a red nose fixed to the front grill. Now that I think of it, these are typically found on mini-vans.